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There are two reasons we won’t let the sil be there:

1) When she is there and dmil is asked a question, she won’t answer until she looks to sil to get a clue as to how to answer. We need to know what dmil truly wants/needs.
2) Sil is the type of person who will take anything you say and twist it into an unrecognizable lie and then spread it as far as the internet travels. We will not give her any ammo to use against us.
So for all you folks who are thinking about helping out a family member financially, re-read this and know “no good deed goes unpunished” and this saga could easily be yours, because we, like you, never dreamed that taking care of family would end up in such a mess. We took care of dmil out of love, we are respecting her wishes out of love and we will continue to protect her future to the best of our ability for the same reason.
It’s still snowing heavily over 2 ½ hours later, and the day rolls on. With all the snow being so big and wet we’ll have dead trees hitting the ground today I am certain. There is nothing to do but let it happen. Hopefully they’ll do no harm when they fall.
Hopefully sil will give up her efforts to steal the money, just this once. –doubtful.
Hopefully the snowplows will be successful and the guys will be able to get home easily. In the meantime, I’m going to make me a cup of hot chai and get about the business of daily chores.