with the over $10,000 spent by sil in 3 weeks on a charge card that I had closed and she re-opened in dmil’s name—don’t’ ask how we know this, but we have the documented proof of it. Dmil cannot be legally signing any paperwork due to her mental problems and sil knows this too. But she’s doing all she can as fast as she can before dmil dies. Including cashing out a life insurance policy last year that was purchased in 1992 without dh’s knowledge by his parents that was payable to dh. We were later told about it and dh and I made the premium payments on it for the 13 years after dfil died to use it as part of dmil’s burial money. It is now gone, they (sil and her daughter) used a POA to illegally cash it, dmil did not request the cancellation and I only found out when they didn’t autodraft our account for the premium. The check was not even made out to dmil, it was made out to my niece. It seems she has the POA because sil cannot legally qualify for one. Which makes us wonder which of them is actually dmil’s rep payee.
We have not, as yet heard a word from dh’s youngest sister, she will try every way possible to get that money without letting us know she’s trying first. That is how she works, she sneaks around, lies and tries every thing she can other than just be honest. Then it will be a text—“call me about Mom.” She never calls, she always texts and demands the other person call her so she can be “in charge.” Which unless she includes a phone number we can’t do because she changed her phone number to keep dh and dbil from talking to their mother in Nov 2011. A text will not be responded to because we know what the subject will be about and because of what we did when this all started getting so bad.
In Nov 2011 we sent a series of certified letters to all three siblings and each letter stated a couple of things 1) All communications involving dmil’s finances were to be submitted in writing via US Mail to dh 2) That we would no longer be paying any debt incurred by dmil or sil. Each of the siblings signed for the letters themselves. They were legally notified, as were all of dmil’s creditors at that point. We were never legally responsible for her debts because we never signed on any of them—the one smart thing we did do in this whole mess, but we sent the letters to the creditors just in case. So glad we did.
So when, if the sil contacts us it must be in writing, and we will not respond to any other form of communication. This is for both my mil’s and our protection. And before you ask, yes we do have a lawyer and we will use him if the need arises. Dh will respond that he wants to speak with his mother alone. Something sil has refused to let him do since her last sneak attack 18 months ago. He will likely ask his brother to be present too. I know I’ll be there.