to my mil and she told him point blank that dh was the only name she wanted on the account because he was the only one of her children who had never taken money from her even when they(her and dfil) offered it. That in fact she owed him heavily for spending his hazardous duty pay he sent home from Viet Nam instead of putting it in the savings for his Jaguar like he had requested. Plus thanks to him paying her for the truck and trailer he was suppose inherit out right she had been able to just barely stay afloat while waiting for the sale of her home. That dh had always taken care of her and his father. She trusted dh to continue to do so until her death, she could not say that for her other three children.
The broker explained that if she did it the way she was requesting that she would have to have dh’s permission to withdraw money from the account. She said that was fine because she knew that he would let her only withdraw it in case of a true emergency and that was what she wanted. He also told her that at her death any money in the account would automatically go directly to dh and none of the other kids would receive a single penny of it. She said again that was what she wanted. He went through each of the other three kids, grand kids, and great grand kids and asked her point blank if she wanted each one to have any of the money. She said no. When he got to the youngest she was very firm in her no and added “No she’s bled me dry all her life, it’s time she stood on her own two feet.” This is the sil that tried to go behind everyone’s back (again) today.
Dmil is right, dh and I will make sure that if she has a true emergency she would be taken care of, but buying the sil a house is NOT an emergency. In fact it could make life so complicated for all of us when dmil, who is 85, passed because it would put us all in probate court ( the joint tenancy will not because it is with right of survivorship) and that would be a long drawn out expensive process . Considering this sil has had two trailer houses repoed, along with numerous cars, and has filed bankruptcy more than once. they would have to be using the excellent credit rating dh and I have worked so hard to establish for dmil over the last six years to get the house. Even at that they will probably need the insurance that starts with a p (PMI I think). If dmil’s name is on any real property when she dies then the estate would have to be probated and that could get very expensive. Dh and I had worked to get all real property out of dmil’s name a long time ago to avoid this. Sil KNOWS this because we set her down and explained it to her in detail when she wanted to do this in the summer of 2010 and we said no. I have handled 7 estates, I KNOW how expensive this can be.