The second

He got off the phone with her he called me and told me that the event we had figured was coming sooner or later had just happened and asked if we knew she was going to call. I told him we did not that we’d had not one word from them since November 5, 2011. Which is the truth.
He then asked if we knew they were buying a house. I told him no, but it explained the recent high dollar credit card activity under dmil’s name. That we had in fact refused in the summer of 2010 to let the sil have the money to purchase a house because of several legal problems it would create. He asked me then if dh would give his permission for the account to be closed. I replied no that the money was, as he already knew, for a true emergency for dmil and buying sil a house was NOT an emergency. He said that’s what he thought and made note in the file that the stocks, mutual funds and bonds were NOT to be sold until he received both a telephone call and verification in writing from dh that he had agreed to it.
Background on this money. My dfil died in January 1999, leaving my dmil with a small life insurance policy that barely buried him and a huge mountain of cc debit (they each had two wallets full of maxed out cc and none of them were the same account). Their trailer house and land was heavily mortgaged and dmil was unable to afford the utilities and upkeep on it because she would no longer have dfil paycheck (he was still working at age 77) and his social security check. She sold it that summer.
Upon the recommendation of 3 of the 4 kids (guess who fought us every inch of the way) dmil put what was leftover of the sale into the brokerage account. At that time the broker told her she could put whoever she wanted on the account in whatever manner she wanted—I was there, but dh was not. The other three kids were knowledgeable that we were going to the broker, but couldn’t be bothered to go along.